Six pack of Awful

Ladies and Gentleman (Boys and Girls...)

I have recently opened the worst packs a Jays fan can possibly rip.

With a few minutes to burn before a movie Tuesday night (Shutter Island, if you're interested), We (myself and m'lady) decided to kill some minutes in the KMart in the neighboring strip mall. It was my first time at this particular "Target of the South", and in terms of prices it was amazing. Blasters marked down to $4.96 in some cases (but I avoided the UD Documentary set) and loose packs from 2008 gravity feeders (weird, right?) for a buck. Can't go wrong, right?

Wrong.

Things went very, very wrong.

I had four packs in my hand, and asked Sam if I should grab another. So she shuffled through the feeder, grabbing me another. I then grabbed a second "one last pack."

I "marked" the pack she picked out by tearing the top seam a bit. Just to see if he luck is really better than mine. It wasn't.

After about 10 minutes in line (with only two people in front of us) we ambled out to the parking lot to explore the goodies in the packs.

You may be getting to the anxious point of noticing that there are, in fact, NO PICTURES in this post. There is a reason for that.

And the reason is such:

6 Pack, 5 Cards Per Pack, for 30 cards.

Pack 1 (Samantha's Choice):
Curt Schilling
Hideki Matsui
Carl Yastrzemski
YSL Gil MacDougald
Dan Uggla Charcoal

Wow, that was painful. Maybe Samantha shouldn't be picking my packs.

Pack 2:
Don Mattingly. Hmm.
Jeter/Griffey/Ripken/Ichiro. Four players on one card is entirely too many.
Paul Konerko
YSL Whitey Ford. I manage to beat the odds and get one of these in about every pack.
Albert Pujols Charcoal. Okay, that one is nice.

Noticing a trend yet?

Pack 3:
Scott Rolen. So Jays DO exist in UD products? No shit.
Carlos Lee
Kelly Johnson
Nick Markakis
Goddammit. Jacoby Ellsbury Charcoal.

This was the best pack of the all. Seriously.

Pack 4:
Matt Kemp
Ryan Zimmerman
Eddie Murray/Prince Fielder
John Lackey
Griffey/Clemente/Guerrero/DiMaggio Charcoal (They just HAD to add a Yengwe to this one)

Pack 5:
Mike Schmidt
Joba Chamberlain
Justin Verlander
Daric Barton
Howie Kendrick Charcoal

OK, Only one Yankee, but unmemorable at best.

Pack 6:
Ryan Theriot
Bo Knows Jackson
Ugh. Manny Ramirez...
YSL The Boggs Head...
Dave Winfield (NYY) Charcoal.

In case you've missed the glaring disdain I have for the collation of these packs...here's the rub:

9 New York Yankees
4 Red Sox
2 Angels
1 each of Phillies, A's, Tigers, White Sox, Marlins...etc...

I am debating whether to email Upper Deck or just put all in cards back in an envelope with the receipt and place it in a flaming bag of dog shit on their stoop. These packs were a disgrace to our game and hobby.